THE GLUTE SYNDICATE
Aspirational Assets. Technical Iron. Authoritative Humor. Upgrade your posterior with premium fitness equipment and elite personal training. Squeeze at the top, or stay at the bottom.
OPERATOR ENGAGEMENT: NEXT TARGET?
The Syndicate demands your input. Which gluteal sector requires immediate reinforcement?
Syndicate Intel: Puns & Peachy Results
Technical bulletins for the discerning Operator. We build sexy, fit bums through luxury home gym protocols and high-performance weight loss programs.
Results Trump Reflections
Stop admiring your sparkle and start executing with professional fitness coaching. Technical displacement data doesn’t lie.
The Engine Room
Your posterior is the engine room of power. Fuel it with premium health supplements and elite glute training protocols.
KIMI’S LATEST WISDOM
The Stairmaster Siege: Surviving the 45-7-6 Vertical Ascent
Operator Alert: We are initiating a vertical siege. The 45-7-6 Stairmaster protocol has been identified as a high-value asset…
The Syndicate Files: Our Backstory and Mission
Many have asked about the origin of the Syndicate. It did not begin in a boardroom. It began in a poorly lit basement gym…
JOIN THE SYNDICATE
I do curls for the girls… and the boys. But I do hip thrusts for the Syndicate. Stop settling for basic routines.