By entering TopBum.com, you acknowledge that you are about to encounter high-quality satirical content regarding the human posterior. If you find humor offensive, or if your glutes are already perfect and you have lost your sense of irony, please exit immediately.
The “Not-So-Fine” Print
- Satire Warning: 99% of the medical advice here is actually just sarcasm wrapped in a squat. Consult a real doctor before attempting to use your glutes to crack walnuts or boulders.
- Results May Vary: While our wit is sharp, our workouts are mostly for those who like to waddle after a gym session. Results depend on how much you actually lift versus how much you scroll.
- No Emojis Policy: We are serious professionals. We do not use tiny yellow faces to convey complex human emotions. We use nouns and verbs, as the ancestors intended.
Enjoy the banter. Train hard. Laugh harder. Your glutes will thank us, even if your pride doesn’t.